What if I have a bath?
Mum: If you wash your face, Sammy, you can have one slice of chocolate cake. But if you wash your neck, too, you can have two slices.
Sammy: What if I have a bath?
Dream of a necklace
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight.” he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”
One of the world’s greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, “Take it easy. You’ll find it.”
When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn’t find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, “I’m sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it.”
“You’re very kind,” the professor said, “but I must find it, otherwise I won’t know where to get off.”
A Texas millionaire
A Texas millionaire had fallen ill. The doctors consulted did not seem to understand what ailed him. The millionaire let it be known that any doctor who could heal him could have whatever he desired.
A country doctor was finally able to cure him, and as the doctor was leaving after a week’s stay, the Texan said, “Doc! I am a man of my word. You name it, and if it is humanly possible I’ll get it for you.” “Well,” said the doctor, “I love to play golf, so if I could have a matching set of golf clubs, that would be fine.” With that the physician left.
The doctor didn’t hear from the Texan millionaire for some months. Then, one day, he got a phone call from the millionaire.
“Doc, I bet you thought that I had gone back on my word. I have your matching set of golf clubs. The reason it took so long is that two of them didn’t have swimming pools, and I didn’t think they were good enough for ya. So, I had pools installed and they’re all ready for you now!”
Daughter in College
Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s college education?
As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, “I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?”