Humor

NO + NO = Yes

In a mathematics class the teacher told the student that minus * (times) minus –*– = + and also NO + NO = Yes. So, a boy was pressed to go to toilet. He then asked the teacher, “Excuse me, sir, can I use the toilet?” The teacher said, “No.” The student asked again, “Excuse me, sir, can I use the toilet?” The teacher said, “NO.”

Immediately student stood up to go to the toilet, the teacher was surprised and said, “Where are you going?” He said, “Toilet.” The teacher asked him, “Why?” He said, “NO + NO = Yes, so since you said NO two times I know you mean Yes.” So, the class burst into laughter.

Flustered

As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I’ve learned that even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel.

One day I had three beginners in the car, each scheduled to drive for 30 minutes. When the first student had completed his time, I asked him to change places with one of the others. Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead, he asked in a shaky voice, “Should I stop the car first?”

Bank name

Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested.

Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill out the application.”

Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for “Name of your former bank.” After a slight hesitation, she put down ‘Piggy.’

I get the circle around it

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Bribery

A baseball club is among the features of a boys’ organization connected with a prominent church. The team was challenged by a rival club. The pastor gave a special contribution of five dollars to the captain, and stated that the money should be used to buy bats, balls, gloves, or anything else that might help to win the game. On the day of the game, the pastor was surprised to see that nothing new could be seen in the club’s paraphernalia. He called the captain.

“I don’t see any new bats, or balls, or gloves,” he said.

“We haven’t anything like that,” the captain admitted.

“But I gave you five dollars to buy them,” the pastor exclaimed.

“Well, you see, you told us to spend it for bats, or balls, or gloves, or anything that we thought might help to win the game, so we gave it to the umpire.”