Priceless definitions

Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper…

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today..

Handkerchief: Cold Storage…

Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time…

Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction…

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed...

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

What does a graduate student with a science degree ask?

“Why does it work?”

What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask?

“How does it work?”

What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask?

“How much will it cost?”

What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask?

“Do you want fries with that?”

Paul and Jim decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favorite sport. After fishing for 4 hours at various places around the lake with no luck at all they decided to try one more spot before calling it quits.

Suddenly things started to happen, and they caught their limit inside of 20 minutes. Paul said, “Hey, we should mark this spot, so next time we will know where to come.” Jim says, “Good idea,” and he took out a can of spray paint and made a large X on the floor of the boat to mark the spot.

With that Paul says, “Why did you do that? Now anyone who rents this boat will know where to fish!”

This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, “I’m a walking economy.”

The friend asks, “How so?”

“My hairline is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!”