Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested.
Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill out the application.”
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for ‘Name of your former Bank.’
After a slight hesitation, she put down ‘Piggy.’
Vote for the Devil
A candidate for city council was doing some door-to-door campaigning, and things were going pretty well, he thought, till he came to the house of a grouchy-looking fellow. After the candidate’s little speech, the fellow said, “Vote for you? Why I’d rather vote for the Devil!” “I understand,” said the candidate, “but in case your friend is not running, may I count on your support?”
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summon. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day. “What for?” he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, “Twenty dollars contempt of court. That’s why!” Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. “That’s all right. You don’t have to pay now.” The young man replied, “I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.”
Whoever tells the biggest lie
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a 10 dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age, I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the 10 dollars to the teacher.
A high school student came home one night rather depressed.
“What’s the matter, Son?” asked his mother.
“Aw, gee,” said the boy, “It’s my grades. They’re all wet.”
“What do you mean ‘all wet?’”
“You know,” he replied, “…below C-level.”