HUMOR

Identity

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr Sugarbrown’s daughter.” Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.” The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday school and said, “Aren’t you Mr Sugarbrown’s daughter?” She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”

A girl was crying bitterly

Mom: What happened dear?

Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch?

Mom: No!

Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?

Mom: No!

Daughter: Is my nose flat?

Mom: No baby!

Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog?

Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a Barbie Doll!

Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?

Copy Machine Handout

In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet.

The copier is out of order!

Yes, we have called the service man.

Yes, he will be in today.

No, we cannot fix it.

No, we do not know how long it will take.

No, we do not know what caused it.

No, we do not know who broke it.

Yes, we are keeping it.

No, we do not know what you are going to do now.

Spring Fever

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

“Aha,” says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”

“Hmm,” says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black.”

“No,” says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”